Young Love: 1st Installment

“The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.”
-G.K. Chesterton

There is something quite magical about being in love when you are young. Life’s expectations and experiences haven’t had their opportunities to mold you into a more cautious version of yourself. When you are young you’re not as worried about being hurt. You are naively trusting and hopeful enough to throw caution to the wind.
I have been thinking a lot about this lately. I have the luxury of revisiting that young relationship I had through emails that I have saved. So I’ve decided to compile the “highlights” and share them with you. Hopefully this will take you on your own trip down memory lane, put a little grin on your face and make you a tad bit nostalgic for what was, what is, and what might have been.
A quick note before we dive in to the story, I have changed the names in the letters for reasons that will become obvious throughout. The excerpts are in chronological order and I have made a conscious decision not to narrate through any of them. They are what they are.
I will be posting these with daily installments. There is simply too much to sit down and read at one time. (Plus then I look like a prolific blogger). I think I have them separated into logical sections.
This first installment is about us reconnecting. I was 21, two months home after an LDS mission and a month out from having been excommunicated. He was 22 and wrapping up his undergraduate degree. Onto the story:

Tuesday Feb. 1, 2000:

Paul, hey there, it's me Nate Currey. Remember me? Well, I just talked to
a friend of ours tonight and he told me that you were a student at CU.
So, since we haven't talked in a really long time I guess i'll get right to
the point. I've always wondered about it and wanted to talk to you when we
were back in high school. I was just way too shy around you. I'm wondering
if you are gay or not?

Please don't be offended if you aren't. I'm just interested because I am. I just barely told my family about it all and everything is really new for me. I'm pretty excited about everything.

I'm not a Mormon anymore, they kicked me out when they found out that I was
gay, so, that's why I’m back at home now. I just got here about three weeks

I'm sure this email is really unexpected. Feel free to email me back.
I hope that everything is going well for you up in Boulder. I'm up there
all the time. Well, I need to run, it's late. Take care!
Your friend,

Wednesday Feb. 2, 2000:


It is good to hear from you and I would like to get together some time and catch up a little. I remember our friend telling me about you in High School. I thought it was fairly ironic that our class president (weren't you?) was and is gay. I hope it doesn't bother you that I knew then, of course I kept it to my self. The way Chatfield was, you would have been lucky to survive a day being "out". Well this brings up a lot of my past that I haven't thought about in almost four years. I can't believe that much time has passed by. However, one thing hasn't changed for me, and that is my struggle with my self. This is something that I wish I had a good, clear answer for, but do not yet. Anyway, give me a call, or call my cell, and we can get together some time and chat. It is hard to get a hold of me, you can send me your number if you'd like as well. Take care.


Saturday Feb. 5, 2000

You are an extraordinary person. I hope you know that. I appreciate your mail that I read today. It made me smile.

First, I want to tell you that I really had an enjoyable evening last night. I wasn't sure what to expect or even really what I wanted out of it, but I came home feeling great. I am really grateful that we spent the evening getting to know one another.
I think that the greatest thing that I learned about you last night is that bottom-line you have faith in your life. Regardless of how reconcilable issues may be in your life, I think it's great that you still have a set of beliefs. I also think it's great that we don't agree on everything. That would make our conversations pretty boring.

Well, anyway, like I said, thanks for the letter. I also think it would great to get to know you better. I realize that you have a pretty busy schedule, but I think it would be super if you could find time to squeeze me in every now and then.
I'll close for now. I'm glad this is timing out now and not when we were in high school. Don't ask me why, it just seems a lot better now.

Thanks for everything. Let me know what your plans are!

Take Care!

Your friend,

Sunday Feb 6, 2000

Hey Nate-

Well, I appreciate all that you said in that last email to me. In the same way, I really think that you are an extraordinary person as well. It was like a breath of fresh air talking to someone who not only understood me, but also had very many of the same thoughts. I also enjoyed the fact that we disagreed. It does make things more interesting.

I am definately interested in getting together later this week.

To be honest with you Nate, I'm really excited about getting to know someone who is as intelligent and honest and real as you. There are few out there like yourself. Until I see you again, take care.


Thursday Feb. 10, 2000

Well, here's my first psycho letter to you. Sorry I was short with you on the phone. You know how cell phones are.

So, I find myself sitting here and thinking about how darn fun last night was. I'm really enjoying this and just wanted to tell you that one more time. I'm definitely looking forward to tomorrow. By the way:

menya zavoot Nate.
Kak tebyaa zavoot?
Kak ti pashivaesh?
ochen horosho?
mnye priatno!
tebya loobloo.

Enough of that, just a review so you wont forget by tomorrow. I hope you are having a great time at Bible study. I'm thinking of you.


Friday Feb. 11, 2000


I don't know exactly when you will get this, but I wanted to reply none the less. Thanks for the refresher on Russian. I actually spoke it to my friend Jennifer, who is fluent. She really enjoyed it. I'm sitting here contemplating the finer things in life, and all that life is... I enjoy myself completely when I am with you and at this very moment I feel like telling you and the whole world for that matter, that you are awesome and that I care very deeply for you. I told my roommate and his boyfriend about you tonight - they were both surprised and excited, but always supportive. I guess there are a million roads that our friendship could now head down, but there is only one I wish for. Until then, take care, I will see you soon - even if you don't get this email till after your trip.


Saturday Feb 12, 2000 (After I’ve arrived in Seattle for a trip)

Good morning. What a day yesterday. What a wonderful day. I can't believe how much I love just being with you. You are really a special person to me already. I think that's why I didn't want to get on that flight yesterday.

I would much rather be there with you. I would much rather spend the night
with you than stay with someone I haven't seen in 3 years. I'm so grateful for all of the things that make you unique.

Anyway, enough of that for now, just know that I love being with you and I'm looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a great Saturday.

with love,

Saturday Feb 12, 2000


I just talked to my Mom and she said that it would be difficult for her to pick me up from the airport, so . . .

You are really way too good to me. If you could pick me up that would be great. Apparently my truck is dead, so I'll have to get that looked at.
My friend and I have had fun doing a little shopping on your behalf. I think he's sick of hearing about you but oh well. Everyone here thinks that you are wonderful. I'm going out to a play tonight and then dinner and will look for your mail when I get home tonight. 

Hope you have a great evening and a good time at Church tomorrow.


Sunday Feb 13, 2000

Hey Nate-

I just got back from a "dateless wonder" party with my college group. It was a lot of fun. They are all trying to hook me up with one of the girls there and I told them that I already have an "interest". I kept it at that though. Can you guess who that "interest" is? You better be able to. 

Well, I also received all your flight info and I will plan on picking you up at 2:45. Let me know if you don't make it, otherwise I will be at the gate at 2:45. I hope all went well and that you are still having a great time. Until I see you again, be good and take care, and stop annoying everyone with talk about me! I will check my email tomorrow morning, but I plan on picking you up unless you call to tell me otherwise.

Happy that you are coming back because it feels like you've been gone forever, Paul

1 comment:

Iknowaboutpopular said...

I love/can't believe that you are sharing this. How did you get to be so brave?